As of today, my boys, a senior and a freshman in high school, have been in school for one week. This school year began very much like the last one ended, oddly. There was no "meet your teacher" or run out and get school supplies on sale. There were no butterflies in your stomach and trouble sleeping the night before. They simply pulled up their schedules online, woke up that morning, and logged onto their computers. NOT your typical first day of school. Not awful, mind you. I'm not saying that it was terrible, just different.
My youngest started high school but there was no finding his way around a new school or being met by upperclassmen. My middle son started his senior year, but there was no walking into the building for his last first day of school, being big man on campus. All things that they had been looking forward to for some time.
I'm not complaining. I know that these are "unprecedented times" and everyone is doing what they can to make life go on and seem as normal as possible. I so appreciate all the work of the teachers and staff of the schools that have worked so hard to make this digital learning thing work. I am grateful that we live in a time where technology has advanced enough to allow the kids to do this. (If this had happened when I was a kid, we would have just missed school.) There are so many positives, it's just strange.
The plan was for them to phase into in-person learning by mid-September. That is what my kids want. They want to be in school and interact with friends, classmates, and teachers. They want to walk the halls and change classes and have lunch in the cafeteria. But today I found out that in-person learning will pretty much be digital learning inside the school building and I was devastated. As were the boys. Again, I'm not blaming anyone. The school is trying to do the best they can with what they have and educate everyone according to their preferences. I DO NOT envy that job! But that wasn't what we were hoping for, so we have decided to keep them home doing digital learning until everyone can go back to school safely (whenever that will be) and have the normal school experience.
Grateful again, because, even though I lost my job five months ago due to the pandemic, it was a God thing because I am able to stay home with my boys and help when needed. No, they don't NEED me here, except maybe for the occasional technical issue, but I'm blessed to have the option. I like to think it helps my youngest (ASD) because I am here to ask questions to make sure he understands that teachers would never think to ask him just because they don't know him the way I do.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that I am currently feeling a plethora of emotions: sadness, thankfulness, frustration, gratefulness, isolated, blessed, disappointed, and contentment, all at the same time. I'm spending time with my boys, brushing up on my Algebra skills, learning a lot about Zoom, getting some home projects done, and taking some time for myself. It may not help the pocketbook, but it helps my soul and that is what matters most.
Thank you God for your provision!
