It was 14 years ago, this very day, that I thought it was all over. Our pastor and his wife came over to our house to be a referee between Steven and me. It wasn't a good situation. (Thankfully some dear friends had taken our kids for the evening so we could have this "intervention".) It ended that night with me kicking Steven out of the house, not knowing if I would ever let him back. That was it. Our marriage was over. At least it seemed that way.
That night I couldn't sleep. I couldn't believe what was happening. What was happening? How did we get here? Where do we go from here? I don't even begin to know how to fix this! Then God told me that I didn't have to. He would.
God and I had a long chat that night, longer than normal anyway. We actually had quite a lot of chats in the days after as well. I was lost and didn't know what to do. But God did and He showed up in a big way for me and for Steven. And I'm so thankful that He did!
I won't go into boring details. Many may already know the story. Steven eventually came back to the house with us and we started seeing a marriage counselor a few times a week. It was hard. It was excruciating. Up to that point, I had thought the death of my parents was the worst thing I could ever feel. This was 1000 times worse! But I trusted God, and despite everything that had happened, I loved my husband and really wanted to make our marriage work again.
So if you know me and/or Steven, you can see that God showed up in a BIG way! It took quite a long time and a good deal of counseling, talking, fighting, forgiving, confessing, loving, crying, screaming, and praying, but God did it! Here we are, 14 years later, probably the happiest we have ever been. And next month we will celebrate 25 years of marriage. I could not be more ecstatic about it. I love my husband dearly. He is a great husband and a terrific father to our three boys. He works hard and takes great care of us. God has blessed us beyond measure.
I post this not to bring attention to me, but to give the glory to God! Also, I know others are out there struggling in their marriages. Maybe you experienced an event like us that just shattered your world. Or maybe you just aren't happy. You are more like roommates than partners. I am here to tell you that God can and wants to transform your marriage! If you will let him. It won't be easy or quick. It will be difficult and involve a lot of tough conversations with your spouse that maybe you don't want to have. But you need to! Pray and ask God to help you. He will show up and He will do amazing things beyond what you can ask, think, or even imagine! (That's for Pastor Dan!) We are living proof. God cares and He wants to help. But you have to want to do your part as well.
I am so thankful that Steven and I are in the place we are now. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for that awful day 14 years ago. I hate that it happened with all my being. But I wouldn't trade where we are now for anything. God truly can use any and every situation. Trust Him. He loves you!
