Do you ever just get tired of your family? Your kids? Your husband? Does anyone else ever get to a point where it seems as though everything they say and/or do just infuriate you? Well, I do. Not on purpose. I'm not sure what brings it on. Familiarity breeds contempt, maybe? Is it possible to be with them so much that they drive you crazy?
Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and my kids very much. We do a lot of things all together, probably more than most families. There are very few things that we do in which the other isn't involved in some way. Maybe that's part of the problem. I also just think it's me. I say I'm a homebody, but I get depressed when I spend TOO much time at home. Which, as you might assume, makes working from home a bit difficult. Maybe that's why I felt that, after 13 years of being at home with kids, I needed to get out and get a job outside the home. But by then I was so used to making my own schedule, that having to adhere to someone else's got me down as well. I tend to go from one extreme to the other, depending on the day. There are days I think I should be home and more accessible for my kids. (I still have an elementary age child who needs me here when he gets home.) Then there are days when I think that my being away at work would be better. I haven't fully figured it out yet, but I'm working on it. I know this though....MY KIDS WILL NEVER BE THIS AGE AGAIN. They may not NEED me now (Elijah might, but not the others so much), but I need them. The time will come, all too soon, when they really won't need me, or even want me around. The time will come, all too soon, when they are off working, playing, with their friends, and I am just an afterthought. Don't get me wrong, those times NEED to come. That is what I've been raising them for all this time - to NOT need me. But, while they still do, I want to be here to enjoy it and get frustrated at it all at the same time. Does that make sense?
Yesterday was a really BAD one of those days. Everything everyone said and did got on my nerves. No one could do anything for themselves. Mom was needed for everything but no one listened to mom or got upset at her answer. So much so that I ended up getting the most awful headache that I just couldn't get rid of and spent the entire afternoon and evening alone in my room. (Well, at least as much as they would let me be alone.) This morning didn't start off much differently. I was upset about that because we were supposed to go to the Gwinnett Braves game and I wanted to have a good time, dang it!
So the plan was to leave around 11 to go to a noon game. I was checking some things on FB around 10:15 and discovered that last night's game had been suspended and they would be playing a double header today. AWESOME! I LOVE DOUBLE HEADERS! But, in order to get there on time, we had to leave right away. That threw everyone off. Elijah had to stop playing Xbox (oh no!) and we had to get going ASAP.
In the car, the boys were playing DS and JJ put on his headphones listening to music, so there was no conversation. That upset me too. I wanted this to be fun for everyone.
Well, we got to the game just before they started last night's game from the 3rd inning. We got BOGOF seats (coupon!) right by 1st base. We saw some of my friends that work there, checked the lineup and standings (we are 10.5 games back. Probably more now!), got my free Designated Driver drink and sat down to enjoy the game. Steven was not going to be joining us because of work. But once he found out it was a double header and that the kids would be participating in an on field game between games, he decided to leave work and join us.
We got KILLED in the first game and also lost the second. But we had a blast! We were all cheering and clapping. We know all the players so we enjoying hollering for them by name. We saw Chopper, my favorite groundhog, and got to sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" with Barry in the 6th inning stretch during the 2nd game. Todd Cunningham even hit a 3 run homer in the Racetrac inning so we get $5 worth of stuff with our ticket stub! After the game, we raided the stadium for Coke points (Charlie Baumgardner!) and even found some ticket stubs as well. Now we are that much closer to free World of Coke tickets and have enough stubs to get $100 worth of stuff at Racetrac tomorrow. (That will be good because we will be yard saling and that can be breakfast and lunch!)
This all sounds silly, I know. But it was so how I wanted to day to go. I had prayed this morning during my walk with Sparky that God would help turn things around. HE DID! We had a great day and the kids are VERY excited about going to Racetrac tomorrow. (Yes, we are all strange and cheap!)
Now the kids are playing more Xbox while JJ and Steven are at travel baseball tryouts. I'm on my way to watch the Atlanta Braves and map out our yard sales for tomorrow. It's been a great day!
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